1. KNOW WHAT TURNS YOU ON
Can you bring yourself to orgasm? If you can then you know what needs to be done and you are capable of showing or telling someone else. When you know what type of touch, position and mental arousal you need, then you are well on the road to sexual fulfillment. The quality and type of sexual connection that you have with yourself is an important part of your likelihood of, and capacity for, sexual happiness. You cannot turn your partner on if you cannot even turn yourself on.
2. COMMUNICATE YOUR IDEAS, NEEDS AND DESIRES TO A PARTNER
How many of us are comfortable asking for what we want sexually? If you know what you want, the next thing you need to do is be able to communicate this to another person. Assertive, clear and compassionate sexual communication can be practiced and when you are able to ask for what you need, all parties will no doubt breathe a huge sigh of relief. Most partners appreciate being given some hints. Most of us spend way too much time having sex with someone and having absolutely no idea what is going on in their head. Express your thoughts and encourage your partner to do the same.
Taking Control...
In order to become a better lover, here are some tips that you can follow:
Foreplay. Using foreplay gets your partner in the mood and gets them to be more receptive to sex. You want to get him/her to feel this way, even though men can become more aroused more quickly than women. Using foreplay gets him to feel more pleasure and you want this to happen.
Oral sex. Oral sex can either be used as the main event or a precursor to sex. Men love the way a woman's soft mouth feels on their members, so you should give your man this kind of pleasure. Women love the feeling of a male tougne as well as this helps arouse the nerve endings and produce wetness.
Different positions. Over time, the standard missionary position can become really boring in the bedroom and it doesn't offer you any other form of stimulation. Get you and your partner to browse through different sites or books so you can both find a position that will work in your favor. Remember, you don't always have to keep it to one position per night either. Feel free to throw many positions into the mix and keep your partner on their toes.-Dr.Hans Rauk
6 WAYS TO HAVE CONTROL OF YOUR SEX LIFE
If you want an exciting and passionate sex life you need to ensure that you take certain steps to make that happen. If you depend upon your partner to make sex great, if you are too scared, inhibited or timid to ask for what you want, then your sex life is vulnerable to the vagaries of other people's desires.
Take control and create the sex life that you need.
This will lead to not only a happier experience for you but for your partner as well.
3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SEXUAL PLEASURE
Please stop waiting for someone else to 'give' you an orgasm or for your partner to 'give' you great sex. We are each of us responsible for creating sexual fulfillment for us and absolving yourself of responsibility is probably going to frustrate you rather than get you what you want. Do not blame the other person as both of you were involved and responsible. Most of the time when we criticize someone else's sexual performance, we are revealing some of our own insecurities and fears. If you have a unsatisfactory sexual experience, learn from it and be determined to make the next one better…for both you and your partner.
4. LOVE YOUR BODY
If you are harboring feelings of disgust or unhappiness about the way you look, then your sexual encounters are liable to be controlled by your anxieties rather than your desire. When you are continually trying to navigate your way into more 'flattering' positions, then your mind is, quite frankly, not sufficiently on the job! Being mentally present is an important part of many people's Good Sexual Experiences list and the absence emotional connection is very easy for the other person to spot. Score yourself out of 10 for each of these and find out where you are currently most in charge of your sex life and where to look first if you want to have more control over your sexual pleasure.
Enjoying Sex More
You never need to have sex for the sake of it. Just because your partner wants to does not mean you have to submit. In a healthy relationship both of you need to be able to say no to sex and for this NOT to create resentment and conflict. If your confidence and security are based upon the vagaries of your partner's sexual desire, then you are extremely vulnerable to being thrown off course by feelings of rejection. Commit to finding your own self-worth and value instead of allowing someone else to decide when you can and when you cannot feel good about yourself.
We all have busy schedules and often one of the things that gets overlooked is the time we need to take to love another. Everyone needs to stop and take the time to give and get love from his or her partner. It is not a matter of scheduling, but rather making the time to relax, talk, and enjoy the gifts each other has. A quickie here and there if always fun, but you need to also balance that off with a longer, more intimate experience. 6. TAKE THE TIME TO LOVE.
We all have busy schedules and often one of the things that gets overlooked is the time we need to take to love another. Everyone needs to stop and take the time to give and get love from his or her partner. It is not a matter of scheduling, but rather making the time to relax, talk, and enjoy the gifts each other has. A quickie here and there if always fun, but you need to also balance that off with a longer, more intimate experience.-Dr.Hans Rauk
Enjoying Sex More © 2013